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The Holy Gospel of John (Moses Browning)



1. In the beginning was the 1911, and the 1911 was THE pistol, and it was good. And behold the Lord said, thou shalt not muck with my disciple John's design for it is good and it worketh. For John made the 1911, and lo all of his weapons, from the designs which I, the Lord, gave him upon the mountain.

2. And shouldst thou muck with it and hang all manner of foul implements upon it, and profane its internal parts, thou shalt surely have malfunctions, and in the midst of battle thou shalt surely come to harm.

3. And as the ages passed men in their ignorance and arrogance didst forget the word of the Lord and began to profane the 1911. The tribe of the gamesman did place recoil spring guides and extended slide releases upon the 1911 and their metal smiths didst tighten the tolerances and alter parts to their liking, their clearness of mind being clouded by lust.

4. Their artisans did hang all manner of foul implements upon the 1911 and did so alter it that it became impractical to purchase. For lo, the artisans didst charge a great tax upon the purchasers of the 1911 so that the lowly field worker could not afford one. And the profaning of the internal parts didst render it unworkable when the dust of the land fell upon it.

5. And lo, they didst install adjustable sights , which are an abomination unto the Lord. For they doth break and loose their zero when thou dost need true aim. And those who have done so will be slain in great numbers by their enemies in the great battle.

6. And it came to pass that the Lord didst see the abomination wrought by man and didst cause, as he had warned, fearful malfunction to come upon the abominations and upon the artisans who thought they could do no wrong.

7. Seeing the malfunctions and the confusion of men the lord of the underworld did see an opportunity to further ensnare man and didst bring forth pistols made of plastic, whose form was such that they looked and felt like a brick, yet the eyes of man being clouded, they were consumed by the plastic pistol and did buy vast quantities of them.

8. And being a deceitful spirit the lord of the underworld did make these plastic pistols unamenable to the artisans of earth and they were unable to muck much with the design, and lo these pistols did function.

9. And the evil one also brought forth pistols in which the trigger didst both cock and fire them and which require a "dingus" to make them appear safe.

10. But man being stupid did not understand these new pistols and did proceed to shoot themselves with the plastic pistol, and with the trigger cocking pistols for lo their manual of arms required great intelligence which man had long since forsaken. Yet man continue to gloat over these new pistols blaming evil forces for the negligent discharges which they themselves had committed.

11. And when man had been totally ensnared with plastic pistol, the lord of the underworld didst cause a plague of the terrible Ka-Boom to descend upon man and the plastic pistols delivered their retribution upon men. And there was a great wailing and gnashing of teeth in the land.

12. Then seeing that the eyes of man were slowly being opened and that man was truly sorrowful for his sinful misdeeds, the Lord did send his messengers in the form of artisans who did hear and obey the teachings of the prophet and who didst restore the profaned 1911s to their proper configuration, and lo, to the amazement of men they didst begin to work as the prophet had intended.

13. And the men of the land didst drive out the charlatans and profaners from the land, and there was joy and peace in the land, except for the evil sprits which tried occasionally to prey on the men and women of the land and who were sent to the place of eternal damnation by the followers of John.

And, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to All!!
 

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Truer words were never spoken,

Long live the 1911.
 

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Can I get an AMEN!
 

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1st Church of the 1911 (Reformed)

There is no god but 1911 and John Browning is his prophet. :hrm: :biglaugh:

(Apologies to any who find the above blasphemous; note :biglaugh: )
 

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I have long felt that too many people treated the 1911 as a religion, instead of the defensive tool it really is. Thanks for the confirmation.
 

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Re: 1st Church of the 1911 (Reformed)

tcdrennen said:
There is no god but 1911 and John Browning is his prophet.

(Apologies to any who find the above blasphemous)
THAT is nay the blasphemy.

originally posted by CeemackI have long felt that too many people treated the 1911 as a religion, instead of the defensive tool it really is. Thanks for the confirmation.
HERE we find our blasphemer, and may his lack of faith be revisitied in kind.

All joking aside, mere "tool" indeed. :mad:
Maybe to you, but never presume to insult mine so.
 

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Blessed are those that embrace the 1911 for they shall inherit the earth from the sheeple.

bjdealer you are a true spiritual leader. Behold the holy grail:

 

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Re: 1st Church of the 1911 (Reformed)

tcdrennen said:
There is no god but 1911 and John Browning is his prophet. :hrm: :biglaugh:

(Apologies to any who find the above blasphemous; note :biglaugh: )
You butchered that quote :)

It really goes like: There is no God but John Browning, Jeff Cooper is his Prophet.
 

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Re: Re: 1st Church of the 1911 (Reformed)

bigjim said:
You butchered that quote :)

It really goes like: There is no God but John Browning, Jeff Cooper is his Prophet.
Forgive the heresy, I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT! Thank you brother, PRAISE JMBus.

Well, Homer Simpson says Praise Jebus, I figger his spelling was off :rofl:
 

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...mere "tool" indeed.
You're right, TRB...one should never let objectivity poke its ugly head into the choice of a defensive weapon. I mean, that would be more than blasphemy--that would be just plain silly.
 

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Amd a trusted defensive tool becomes an extension of the user's body, which he can deploy with ease. The firearm is the modern era Katana and is generally well cared for by those who would trust it to defend their lives.

By the way, the devotion to a JMB design that is prevelant on this forum is no different than the dedication to some European made firearms on their respective dedicated fan sites. If you disagree with it, you are entitled to your own opinion, but it seems that Gunsforum.com is more of the place if you seek neutral territory. There's some great guys there too. Or, simply take what you see in here, SIGforum, Glocktalk, the HK site and others for what it is and absorb some of the good knowledge all the sites can offer.
 

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Zenmeister, IMHO you're displaying the very lack of objectivity of which I was speaking.

I can't speak to the SIG or HK forums, but I spend a lot of time on Glocktalk and I can tell you that it's fairly rare to see the kind of dismissive putdowns directed at the 1911--or at any other pistol, for that matter---that are so frequently made here regarding the Glock or any other non-1911 design. There's a much more open discussion of the relative merits of different design. I won't say that it's free of partisanship, because it isn't--and I'm probably guilty of a little bit of that myself.

But I haven't seen Glock owners treat their weapons with the slavish devotion that some have to the 1911.

A handgun is a tool. We use them for intimate purposes, and as a result there is a natural tendency for us to develop a personal attachment to them.

But if we use that handgun for defensive purposes, our lives depend upon it. That means that we have to try to maintain a certain level of detachment about it. We need to keep evaluating it against our personal needs, and against other, newer designs. There may come a point when we see that our current choice is no longer the best choice. We need to be open enough to accept that.

The katana to which you alluded is a perfect case in point. The samurai of feudal Japan revered their weapons in a highly spiritual fashion. It was a devastating weapon in certain circumstances, and arguably the best of its kind. But which would you rather have in a fight--a katana or a 1911? At some point a devotee of the katana would have had to recognize that his favored weapon is no longer the ideal choice.

Refusal to do would be suicidal. I mean, who takes a sword to a gunfight?

I'm not saying that the 1911 is not an outstanding weapon, or that anybody who owns one has made a mistake. Of the three watershed designs in handgun history, the 1911 is the only one that has remained a first-line choice for so many decades. I would never disparage its worth as a combat tool.

I merely suggest that it would be wise to keep a little perspective.
 

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Ceemak,

Maybe you should re- read my post. The handgun IS the modern katana (metaphor, 3rd grade basic grammar) and is generally taken care of by the people who place their lives on it. I don't quite get where you're going, but I am quite objective on different brands of guns. The best gun is the one that its owner uses best, and they are mostly considered more than a mere tool when the owner shoots them fervently.

A tool suggests something disposeable which can be replaced at any time. Many of us, including me, carry a Glock because it is issued against my will, it is a departmental requirement. However, since my life may very well depend on it, I should train until it becomes a natural extension, correct? If you don't do so with any defensive arm, then you won't be able to use it correctly under the real life stresses of being threatened. This goes for all self defense.

I suggest you go back to Glocktalk and refer to their favorite handgun as a mere tool and bash anybody devoted to it. You might be a little surprised at the average response.
 

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Here's just one more suggestion and it might prove interesting to you Cee: Begin a message thread in this forum on personal preference for a defensive arm and why the user chooses what they do. You will see many more picks than just the 1911 as a first choice. Best tool suited for the individual , from quite a few assorted brands, and this is the way it should be.

The end result will be a devotion toward one or two defensive arms in particular, since thousands of rounds in repetitive shooting lead toward personal likes and dislikes. anybody who doesn't train diligently usually lacks the motor reflexes with a given trigger mechanism, safties, etc. to make that weapon a natural extension of themselves.

Again, try the above suggested post, not just on this forum but on other brand/ model specific forums, and try to be objective as to what people choose. Your criticism is taken lightly in my case, for I know my reasons for staking my life on primarily two gun types that I know well.
 

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I have long felt that too many people treated the 1911 as a religion, instead of the defensive tool it really is. Thanks for the confirmation
The 1911 is not my religion, my religion is my religion. I only chose the 1911 design as a defensive tool, because that's what God shoots:D
 
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