Just picked up a Wilson Classic Stainless today while the wife was at work (wife had no idea, that way she couldn't tell me no). After she got home I showed it to her with great pride. The only problem is she just doesn't understand my obsession for a quality gun. Now she likes to shoot at times, but she really can't tell the difference between a $400 Ruger or a Wilson costing about two grand. Trying to explain it to her is as meaningless as talking to the wind (I had her handle it and dry fire it to "feel the trigger", but to her, it's no big deal). I do admire my wifes ability to put up with my gun hobbie, but she just doesn't "get" spending this money on a gun. According to her, I could spend 1/4 the price and get a decent gun (and I can't argue because I've done it, but decent isn't what I'm looking for. Perfection is more like it). I'm sure many of you other guys are like myself and wait to present your new purchase after the fact (it saves the pre-justification argument, that way you can get right to the justification argument). After presenting my new pride and joy, I treated my wife to a "special" night, where I wait on her hand and foot. I cook dinner, buy a nice wine to keep her glass full, do the dishes, etc... This works ok for now, but with each purchase it gets more difficult. Now, I'm only 26 so I can only wonder what I'll be doing 20 years from now to make her happy after I've spent our hard earned money on yet another gun I don't need (according to her). After every new purchase, I tell her I now have every gun I'll need for a good while, but somehow I always find one I overlooked. So, how do you other guys handle the "ole lady" (better not let her see that) when presenting the gun you just spent a small fortune on?
What do ya tell the wife??
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You could try telling her that a Wilson is like a Ferrari of the gunworld. It is not a mass produced item but rather a finely tuned instrument. Maybe she can use some time on the range with both the Wilson and whatever piece you have and see if she can feel the difference there. Treating her nicely with those gifts and serving her hand and foot helps but ultimately you have to make her feel comfortable about it. Is she mad you got it or just a little annoyed? Next time I would come straight out and ask her beforing spending the money so that she doesn't feel left out of the decision loop. Make sure you have a well thought out arguement before you approach her about it. Show her how much you respect her input and I think she might go along with it better next time. Hope this helps alittle bit.
Woohoo!!!!!! I'm an addict!!!! Time to get that other Wilson I been hankering to get!
[This message has been edited by ZekeLuvs1911 (edited 10-21-2001).]
Woohoo!!!!!! I'm an addict!!!! Time to get that other Wilson I been hankering to get!
[This message has been edited by ZekeLuvs1911 (edited 10-21-2001).]
JRA,
If her mind is made up, nothing you say is going to change it. I would put it this way.
What would you rather have hamburger or steak (assuming she likes both)? They are both forms of beef and they will both get you full, but given a choice which would you rather have? It probably won't work but you wanted an idea. Good luck!
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If her mind is made up, nothing you say is going to change it. I would put it this way.
What would you rather have hamburger or steak (assuming she likes both)? They are both forms of beef and they will both get you full, but given a choice which would you rather have? It probably won't work but you wanted an idea. Good luck!
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jra,
I've found that it can be helpful to come up with analogies that correlate to your wife's own interests. That helps to you frame your argument in ways she can better understand and appreciate. As guys, we tend to make comparisons on a completely different level -- we measure quality in terms of exotic performance automobiles or professional-grade power tools. Women live in a world of their own in this respect, and you have to take that into consideration when making your case.
For example, my wife likes to sew. So, when she mentioned that she could use a new sewing machine, I did my research and went out and bought her the finest German-made, computerized machine that I could find -- money was no object. Admittedly, a mid-range Singer probably would have met her immediate needs just as well, but I wanted her to experience the joy of working with premium equipment. I wanted to get her a machine that would allow her to take her skills to the next level and enable her to venture into other facets of her hobby. I wanted to buy her a machine that was crafted to the highest standard and built to last. See where I'm going with this?
Your wife could make much the same argument for a top-end dishwashing machine, a pair of expensive shoes, a more costly piece of jewelry, a professional-grade camera, or the best-quality sunglasses -- and she would be absolutely correct to do so, based upon our logic. You get what you pay for, and if you are at all inclined to appreciate the difference, then it pays to get the best you can afford right up front. Where the 1911 is concerned, the alternative might be ending up with a safe full of rarely-used Springfield and Kimbers before you eventually realize that the Wilson is worth the extra expense. Why not just start with what you really want? Anyone, of either gender, ought to be able to recognize the sense in that.
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All of this notwithstanding, I do have a bit of friendly advice to offer as one who has been happily married for some 15 years: dropping $2000+ on a large ticket item like a Wilson does NOT make for a good surprise in most households. The virtues of your new Wilson are going to sail completely over her head, no matter how hard you try to "sell" it to her. It is far better to let her know that it is coming, save your money for a little while, and demonstrate that you are grateful for her supporting your interests each and every day -- not just when you are trying to avoid the dog house. If you don't learn this when you are 26, you shouldn't have to worry about it too much when you are 36, as you will probably be long-divorced over money matters. Congratulations on your purchase, but be careful out there buddy!
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Chuck
I've found that it can be helpful to come up with analogies that correlate to your wife's own interests. That helps to you frame your argument in ways she can better understand and appreciate. As guys, we tend to make comparisons on a completely different level -- we measure quality in terms of exotic performance automobiles or professional-grade power tools. Women live in a world of their own in this respect, and you have to take that into consideration when making your case.
For example, my wife likes to sew. So, when she mentioned that she could use a new sewing machine, I did my research and went out and bought her the finest German-made, computerized machine that I could find -- money was no object. Admittedly, a mid-range Singer probably would have met her immediate needs just as well, but I wanted her to experience the joy of working with premium equipment. I wanted to get her a machine that would allow her to take her skills to the next level and enable her to venture into other facets of her hobby. I wanted to buy her a machine that was crafted to the highest standard and built to last. See where I'm going with this?
Your wife could make much the same argument for a top-end dishwashing machine, a pair of expensive shoes, a more costly piece of jewelry, a professional-grade camera, or the best-quality sunglasses -- and she would be absolutely correct to do so, based upon our logic. You get what you pay for, and if you are at all inclined to appreciate the difference, then it pays to get the best you can afford right up front. Where the 1911 is concerned, the alternative might be ending up with a safe full of rarely-used Springfield and Kimbers before you eventually realize that the Wilson is worth the extra expense. Why not just start with what you really want? Anyone, of either gender, ought to be able to recognize the sense in that.
All of this notwithstanding, I do have a bit of friendly advice to offer as one who has been happily married for some 15 years: dropping $2000+ on a large ticket item like a Wilson does NOT make for a good surprise in most households. The virtues of your new Wilson are going to sail completely over her head, no matter how hard you try to "sell" it to her. It is far better to let her know that it is coming, save your money for a little while, and demonstrate that you are grateful for her supporting your interests each and every day -- not just when you are trying to avoid the dog house. If you don't learn this when you are 26, you shouldn't have to worry about it too much when you are 36, as you will probably be long-divorced over money matters. Congratulations on your purchase, but be careful out there buddy!
Chuck
You know, my response may not sound serious but it is. I have many expensive addictions. Telescopes, Leica cameras, guns (including one Wilson CQB) and hand made acoustic guitars. I am 50 and have been married to the same woman for 24 years. She is frugal, I am not. We are not rich, both of us work demanding jobs, and we have two teenage boys.
We love each other and she tolerates me. She shoots but cannot understand my need for the best, she plays piano, but can't understand why I buy guitars that cost as much as a piano. But she puts up with it. We have independent finances, we have joint finances for the family but each of us keeps a portion of our salary for our own interests. She invests and I spend!
Hey, life is short! My bottom line is if you have a good relationship, maybe she doesn't need to fully understand why that $3k Wilson was worth it to you!
Good luck. I realize how lucky I am, but I also cook at least half time and do the dishes at least half time! And take the kids to soccer practice, ...
Tim
We love each other and she tolerates me. She shoots but cannot understand my need for the best, she plays piano, but can't understand why I buy guitars that cost as much as a piano. But she puts up with it. We have independent finances, we have joint finances for the family but each of us keeps a portion of our salary for our own interests. She invests and I spend!
Hey, life is short! My bottom line is if you have a good relationship, maybe she doesn't need to fully understand why that $3k Wilson was worth it to you!
Good luck. I realize how lucky I am, but I also cook at least half time and do the dishes at least half time! And take the kids to soccer practice, ...
Tim
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jra, I think you went about the process all wrong. You shower your wife with gifts on a regular basis such that when you do buy yourself a Wilson or a Ferarri, the only thing that she can say is that she is happy that you aren't neglecting yourself. As StormMaster said, a $2K toy does not go over very well as a surprise in most households.
The incorrect way to announce the new toy is by saying, "Honey, look what I got me for our anniversary!"
The incorrect way to announce the new toy is by saying, "Honey, look what I got me for our anniversary!"
I posted this with a "tongue in cheek" attitude. I certainly wouldn't have purchased the gun if we would have been pressed for money. My wife has known about my obsession with guns since we met, so it's really no big suprise to her when I show up with another one. I certainly wouldn't put our wonderful relationship at risk over a gun but when I do get a little crazy and look for the best, she just can't help to not understand it (even though she tries and I try to explain it) something just doesn't click with her (women, I guess you'll have that). Anyways, this was meant to be a lighthearted post directed to us guys that have women that "just don't understand".
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... which would cover just about every guy I know, except perhaps for Clint Smith.
Hey, we've all been through this to one degree or another -- one final argument that I failed to mention is the old Harley Davidson Defense: a HD will hold it's value (and maybe even increase in value) if kept in good condition.
The same applies to your $2K Wilson: you will never have trouble getting your money back out of one if (God forbid) you ever hit hard times. Now, you and I both know that selling the Wilson wouldn't really be much of an option, but a woman can appreciate the intrinsic value of a hard asset.
Chuck
Uh, I don't think that last part came out exactly as I had intended it to. No double meaning was intended.
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Hi JRA.....
I know it's difficult, but consider selling one of your collection every so often. This proves to your wife that you still can get your money out of your investments and you know what you are doing. Take the money and use it for her or on houshold projects or buy another investment with it.
I remember when I had purchased a beautiful, used Sig P225, factory nickel with factory checkered wood grips in the box for $535. This turned out to be a pretty rare piece. A fellow who collects Sigs didn't have this particular pistol in his collection. I sold it in our kitchen, with my wife observing the whole transaction, for $960. She was amazed to see the fellow plop down all of those $100 bills. She also better understands my hobby.
Another thing that I do is I always include her in my trips to gunshows and gunshops to let her see that this hobby is very popular.
Also, make her first in your life, and your hobby second. This probably is the best advice that I can give you.
Regards,
Sam
[This message has been edited by SamColtFan (edited 10-22-2001).]
I know it's difficult, but consider selling one of your collection every so often. This proves to your wife that you still can get your money out of your investments and you know what you are doing. Take the money and use it for her or on houshold projects or buy another investment with it.
I remember when I had purchased a beautiful, used Sig P225, factory nickel with factory checkered wood grips in the box for $535. This turned out to be a pretty rare piece. A fellow who collects Sigs didn't have this particular pistol in his collection. I sold it in our kitchen, with my wife observing the whole transaction, for $960. She was amazed to see the fellow plop down all of those $100 bills. She also better understands my hobby.
Another thing that I do is I always include her in my trips to gunshows and gunshops to let her see that this hobby is very popular.
Also, make her first in your life, and your hobby second. This probably is the best advice that I can give you.
Regards,
Sam
[This message has been edited by SamColtFan (edited 10-22-2001).]
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The only problem is that if she doesn't know what your guns are worth she will not know what to sell them for if something bad happens to you.
I saw a lady bring a high grade Perazzi MX-8 into my club and offer to sell it for $500. She said that's what her late husband told her he paid for it. Fortunately the club owner is an honest man and took the gun on consignment. She eventually sold it for $6200.
I just buy guns that look like ones I already own. She thinks I only have 1 AR-15.
I saw a lady bring a high grade Perazzi MX-8 into my club and offer to sell it for $500. She said that's what her late husband told her he paid for it. Fortunately the club owner is an honest man and took the gun on consignment. She eventually sold it for $6200.
I just buy guns that look like ones I already own. She thinks I only have 1 AR-15.
Forgiveness is easier to ask for than permission sometimes.
I'm in the same boat,,,,I'm 26 been married a few years and every time it gets harder and harder,,,,,she's gonna crap when I get a custom built.
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Hey, my wife is finishing her college degree right now,,,,
let's see $60,000.00 education,,,,,$1,000.00 gun. Gee honey, I still have $59,000.00 to go, and when you're done you'll start getting money out of our degree.
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I guess I'll just have to buy more guns.
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Yeah,,,,like that would fly.
I'm in the same boat,,,,I'm 26 been married a few years and every time it gets harder and harder,,,,,she's gonna crap when I get a custom built.
Hey, my wife is finishing her college degree right now,,,,
let's see $60,000.00 education,,,,,$1,000.00 gun. Gee honey, I still have $59,000.00 to go, and when you're done you'll start getting money out of our degree.
I guess I'll just have to buy more guns.
Yeah,,,,like that would fly.
My solution with the wife...
1) don't tell her about my latest "purchase"... You need to have enough guns so she can't distinguish between the guns you have. Glocks are great for that, but frankly, I have enough glocks.
2) Take your wife to a nice dinner, and then shopping for new shoes (my wife is a shoe junkie). Afterwards, casully slip in an "oh by the way" I found a great deal on a XXXX. It's beautiful, wanna see it?!? My wife will just say, no thanks, I hope you enjoy it..
See? Just factor in an additional 250 hundred for dinner /shoes, and you're good to go.. ;-)
1) don't tell her about my latest "purchase"... You need to have enough guns so she can't distinguish between the guns you have. Glocks are great for that, but frankly, I have enough glocks.
2) Take your wife to a nice dinner, and then shopping for new shoes (my wife is a shoe junkie). Afterwards, casully slip in an "oh by the way" I found a great deal on a XXXX. It's beautiful, wanna see it?!? My wife will just say, no thanks, I hope you enjoy it..
See? Just factor in an additional 250 hundred for dinner /shoes, and you're good to go.. ;-)
No, no, no, no!!!
You guys are great with 1911's but Holy Guacamole Batman, you all need some serious help in the babe department. You guys need some serious Sendero 101!
Ever notice the Hog with the smallest, least comfortable passenger seat, sports the best lookin' chicks? Huh?
Some like 'em rich, and some like 'em good lookin', but they ALL like 'em bad. Be bad...be real bad.
Besides, what's the end game with all this shmoozin' stuff anyway? You think she's ever gonna love your stuff as much as you do? Hail no! You think you're ever going to get it all right? Gimme three "Hail No's"!!!
Ask yourselves...Is she makin' your sandwiches? Doin' the laundry? Cleaning the house? Alright then. If she b****es about you buyin' a gun, buy another one!
Ever notice how the seal only gets the anchovy when it does the trick? Learn from that. Women don't like girly men. They like MEN, now go out and be a man and buy a gun, or whatever else you want, and she'll love you for it!
Sendero
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Slightly edited by StormMaster in order to remove only the most offensive and neanderthal portions of this post. Let's try to keep on topic gentlemen: comments of a crass sexual nature (such as those liberally laced throughout the original post) belong elsewhere. -- Moderator
[This message has been edited by StormMaster (edited 10-27-2001).]
You guys are great with 1911's but Holy Guacamole Batman, you all need some serious help in the babe department. You guys need some serious Sendero 101!
Ever notice the Hog with the smallest, least comfortable passenger seat, sports the best lookin' chicks? Huh?
Some like 'em rich, and some like 'em good lookin', but they ALL like 'em bad. Be bad...be real bad.
Besides, what's the end game with all this shmoozin' stuff anyway? You think she's ever gonna love your stuff as much as you do? Hail no! You think you're ever going to get it all right? Gimme three "Hail No's"!!!
Ask yourselves...Is she makin' your sandwiches? Doin' the laundry? Cleaning the house? Alright then. If she b****es about you buyin' a gun, buy another one!
Ever notice how the seal only gets the anchovy when it does the trick? Learn from that. Women don't like girly men. They like MEN, now go out and be a man and buy a gun, or whatever else you want, and she'll love you for it!
Sendero
______________________________________________
Slightly edited by StormMaster in order to remove only the most offensive and neanderthal portions of this post. Let's try to keep on topic gentlemen: comments of a crass sexual nature (such as those liberally laced throughout the original post) belong elsewhere. -- Moderator
[This message has been edited by StormMaster (edited 10-27-2001).]
My wife and I have worked out a nice system. Every 3 months, we allocate a certain amount of "play money" that we each get to put in separate bank accounts that we can spend on anything we want. I've mostly spent mine on guns, and she's spent hers on a mixture of horse related equipment, books, music CD's and some guns. We each get an equal amount of "play money" every quarter (depending on how our household budget is doing), and it avoids all arguments!
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my wife collects those expensive longaberger baskets.what i do is this:honey,look what i found at the gunshow today, then i tell her she may get another basket of equal price.then i take her an my son out to dinner.works every time.
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