I have been married for 8 years. About a year ago a friend of ours introduced me to handguns. Since then we have purchased two glocks, two .22's, and three rifles (one being an AR-15). She enjoys going to the range and shooting on a Sunday afternoon but she is really bothered by the fact that she believes we are now "weird", because we are gun owners. Also she shows strong disagreement with me taking classes to learn self defense with a firearm. How do you overcome all of these objections? How can I make her more comfortable with my new found hobby? Although we live in a more rural area, how can I teach her that even in rural Pennsylvania she too can be a "victim"? Any replies are appreciated.
Wife fights my gun interest
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Well, she actually has one .22 already. She also owns one of the Glocks (9mm). She likes to shoot them both but given that we both had no history of guns in either of our families she has a hard time with the fact that we now (in one year) own 7. I am now in the process of purchasing number 8 (a Dan Wesson 1911) am I obsessed?
I think I was officially considered to be obsessed when I did not know how many guns I had without going to count them.Having one on me all of the time probably had something to do with it also.But I just never thought it was unusual to take my gun with me to mail box.
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My wife has never been supportive of my gun obsession. Yes, it is an obsession! As an emergency room nurse she has seen too much of what a gun can do to be supportive. She, has never shot a handgun, ever! But she knows its important to me and, at least, does not hassle me, ever! I don't hassle her either. We've been married 41 years.
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A.) If you still have money in the bank you aren’t [really] obsessed.
B.) My wife's attitude changed considerably about 10 years ago when we were shot at on a freeway in South Dallas.
C.) I don't recommend (B).
D.) Just slow down a little, unless you’re loaded - refer to (A).
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One other note - Get the two of you involved with a local IPSC or IDPA club. You will make new friends that share a common interest. We have three husband/wife shooters at the local club, as well as a few boyfriend/girlfriend types. Two of the women even shoot the three-gun tactical (SOF style)matches - when you get to that level you will truly be obsessed!
[This message has been edited by shootist87122 (edited 12-03-2001).]
B.) My wife's attitude changed considerably about 10 years ago when we were shot at on a freeway in South Dallas.
C.) I don't recommend (B).
D.) Just slow down a little, unless you’re loaded - refer to (A).
One other note - Get the two of you involved with a local IPSC or IDPA club. You will make new friends that share a common interest. We have three husband/wife shooters at the local club, as well as a few boyfriend/girlfriend types. Two of the women even shoot the three-gun tactical (SOF style)matches - when you get to that level you will truly be obsessed!
[This message has been edited by shootist87122 (edited 12-03-2001).]
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203 Posts
Well, my wife was spooky about guns too for a while. We were from California, but moved to a small town in Indiana to give our three children a safer place to live. One year after moving to Indiana, our oldest daughter was molested by a neighbor. A year later, a local woman was kidnapped and taken to a home five houses down from ours, she was raped repeatedly over a four day period, only to be found dead in a wooded area 6 monthes later. It goes to show, you are not safe anywhere anymore. As for my wife and guns, she is all for gun ownership. Some of us need only look in a mirror to find a victom.
My wife grew up without any exposure to firearms, while I grew up with loaded guns all around the house. We new not to touch them. She has the fear that they will jump out of the gun cabinet and hunt us down and shoot us all by theirselves. Last summer I finally got her to shoot a handgun. My Colt .380 Govt. model. I actually bought it hoping she would take an interest in shooting. But after seeing her shoot, I have nothing to worry about. But with 4 children of our own, ages 3 to 11, I do keep the guns locked away, not because of my kids, but we have too many friends of theirs coming through the house and different babysitters. And I didn't raise these kids.
Well KatanaP, My wife never minded guns, although she didn;t see owning several as a advantage for anything, untill.....
We joined a rifle and pistol club, took a orientation that showed the many different disiplines there, we eventually started shooting more and more, I took her to a cowboy action shoot, that was it! She shot it a couple times and started doing pretty good, all the cowboy shooters I have met are laid back lots of fun and willing to help any one in their shooting abilities, My SO saw she was competetive then wanted more! now we both have ccw's,
My suggestion is to get her involvolved in one of the competitions, be it IPSC CAS IDPA 3- Gun what ever, then go out for the training classes, many places actually have competitive training classes, They have them for CAS all the time somewhere, they seem to be a little harder to find for IPSC.
What I[m getting at is, if you get her involved with some different disiplines maybe with a little time she will see the need to learn competitive shooting techniques then understand the reasoning to take a self defense course, and if you shoot ipsc or idpa you will learn allot about shooting for self defense, good luck!
We joined a rifle and pistol club, took a orientation that showed the many different disiplines there, we eventually started shooting more and more, I took her to a cowboy action shoot, that was it! She shot it a couple times and started doing pretty good, all the cowboy shooters I have met are laid back lots of fun and willing to help any one in their shooting abilities, My SO saw she was competetive then wanted more! now we both have ccw's,
My suggestion is to get her involvolved in one of the competitions, be it IPSC CAS IDPA 3- Gun what ever, then go out for the training classes, many places actually have competitive training classes, They have them for CAS all the time somewhere, they seem to be a little harder to find for IPSC.
What I[m getting at is, if you get her involved with some different disiplines maybe with a little time she will see the need to learn competitive shooting techniques then understand the reasoning to take a self defense course, and if you shoot ipsc or idpa you will learn allot about shooting for self defense, good luck!
katina p,
I'm almost there 6 guns in 11 months
and yes I still have money in the bank
my wife and I did
have some gun history but hadn't owned in a while
then our state started passing all these crazy laws so it went like this
january taurus pt140
march glock17
april hs2000
august springfield ss 45 1911
october 54 russian tula sks
december.yugo sks
I still need a makarov and a 12 guage
I shot my buddys ruger p97 this weekend and liked it alot
then theres the cz75b duotone
to many guns not enough time
freebyrd
I'm almost there 6 guns in 11 months
and yes I still have money in the bank
my wife and I did
have some gun history but hadn't owned in a while
then our state started passing all these crazy laws so it went like this
january taurus pt140
march glock17
april hs2000
august springfield ss 45 1911
october 54 russian tula sks
december.yugo sks
I still need a makarov and a 12 guage
I shot my buddys ruger p97 this weekend and liked it alot
then theres the cz75b duotone
to many guns not enough time
freebyrd
Thank you for all the GREAT input. I was wondering do any of these competition groups have websites that you might suggest me visit? I do think that would be good for her and me too! I always overcame my fears by education, I hope this would help her in her fears.
Wierd is doing drugs or living on the street. Guns are just seen in a light that is twisted by the media. Sure dangerous people with guns is terrible. But everyone here has one use. And thats to safely shoot at targets and carry defensively and collect them. Nothing wrong with that man.
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469 Posts
If your wife starts meeting other people that own and enjoy firearms, she'll make the connection that "they're alot like us, but they're not weird, so we must not be weird!" It's really difficult to change an adult's opinion on guns. Even if you can get someone to enjoy shooting, their overall opinion might not change. Neither of my parents grew up with guns, but they are by no means gun control advocates. They're really conservative, but they just don't like guns that much.
Last summer I got the whole family involved in shooting. Of course my little brother likes it and got really good in a hurry. My dad likes it but I don't think he'll ever get a carry permit or take a course. Even my mom got excited when she started hitting the target with a 1911. Despite all this, it's still difficult for any of them to get used to having my Colt in the house.
I don't know, people just feel differently about guns. I think there are three major categories: people who are scared of guns and advocate gun control, people who are indifferent but probably enjoy shooting if they get the chance, and those who will always love guns (us). Most people fit into the middle category, and they're the ones we need to work on. Good luck!
Last summer I got the whole family involved in shooting. Of course my little brother likes it and got really good in a hurry. My dad likes it but I don't think he'll ever get a carry permit or take a course. Even my mom got excited when she started hitting the target with a 1911. Despite all this, it's still difficult for any of them to get used to having my Colt in the house.
I don't know, people just feel differently about guns. I think there are three major categories: people who are scared of guns and advocate gun control, people who are indifferent but probably enjoy shooting if they get the chance, and those who will always love guns (us). Most people fit into the middle category, and they're the ones we need to work on. Good luck!
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431 Posts
Try: http://www.uspsa.com/ for info on IPSC or IDPA
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"No dumb bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making some OTHER dumb bastard die for HIS country!"
General George S. Patton Jr.
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"No dumb bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making some OTHER dumb bastard die for HIS country!"
General George S. Patton Jr.
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244 Posts
As far as the training issue. You may try and make it clear that of the many things you will pick up during training is better gun handling skills = safer enviorment. Also you may find out if any of your local training facilities have women only classes and sign your wife up for one (or more). If she takes that extra step (because you love here and want her to be able to defend herself when you are not around) then she can't complain when you take some classes.
KatanaP,
She shouldn't feel weird for owning guns. I think more people own guns than don't in the U.S. In addition, living in a rural area is all the more reason for owning a gun. Give her the following scenario:
You're not home and some guy is trying to break your front door down. Police response in a rural area isn't exactly instantaneous. It could be 20 minutes where I grew up depending on which side of the county the sherrif was on. She would feel helpless if she didn't have a gun in the house to protect herself. You can't rely on police response for protection as some of these anti-gun groups would have you believe.
She may also feel weird because the media pounds all the bad gun stories into our heads. Combine that with things like the million mom march and all other anti-gun group propaganda, I can see how she could feel that way. Have her read the "Armed Citezen" stories in the NRA magazine to show her how guns are used for good. The guns aren't evil.
My wife likes to shoot guns with me when I go to the range. She hates shooting anything over a .22 right now.
I saw more women than I've ever seen before at a gun show in Dallas last month. Many of them were pretty hot.
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She shouldn't feel weird for owning guns. I think more people own guns than don't in the U.S. In addition, living in a rural area is all the more reason for owning a gun. Give her the following scenario:
You're not home and some guy is trying to break your front door down. Police response in a rural area isn't exactly instantaneous. It could be 20 minutes where I grew up depending on which side of the county the sherrif was on. She would feel helpless if she didn't have a gun in the house to protect herself. You can't rely on police response for protection as some of these anti-gun groups would have you believe.
She may also feel weird because the media pounds all the bad gun stories into our heads. Combine that with things like the million mom march and all other anti-gun group propaganda, I can see how she could feel that way. Have her read the "Armed Citezen" stories in the NRA magazine to show her how guns are used for good. The guns aren't evil.
My wife likes to shoot guns with me when I go to the range. She hates shooting anything over a .22 right now.
I saw more women than I've ever seen before at a gun show in Dallas last month. Many of them were pretty hot.
My wife didn't know about my obsession with guns untill we had been married for quite some time. Because of work and kids I had put my favorite hobby on hold for years. Hunting and shooting was something I did day in and day out as a kid. After we got a little more comfortable in life I started to take up my hobbies more and more. She thought it came on all of the sudden but I had to explain it went back to my childhood.
As I spent more on guns,ammo and PPC compition she thought it was a macho thing. I also carry a side arm everyday which didn't help. {with permit of course}However, my two boys love it and my daughter before she got married would shoot with me all the time. I love taking them to the range and showing them proper gun safty and shooting tech. I even have her almost ready to get a Ruger Mark II .22 to start plinking with.
It takes time and patients. It also doesn't hurt when they realize that it's a bad world out there and we need to protect ourselves and our families.You can't rush it. Good luck.
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Gun crontrol is being able to hit what you aim at
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As I spent more on guns,ammo and PPC compition she thought it was a macho thing. I also carry a side arm everyday which didn't help. {with permit of course}However, my two boys love it and my daughter before she got married would shoot with me all the time. I love taking them to the range and showing them proper gun safty and shooting tech. I even have her almost ready to get a Ruger Mark II .22 to start plinking with.
It takes time and patients. It also doesn't hurt when they realize that it's a bad world out there and we need to protect ourselves and our families.You can't rush it. Good luck.
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Gun crontrol is being able to hit what you aim at
NRA Life Member
Hunter for life
Biker for life
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